The Secret The World Knows But You
by Iname
Summary: When the dreams stop, you'll be able to know the secret the world knew but you.
1. Chapter 1

A-N: I feel suddenly inspired to write this a sad angst about Gravitation, therefore I am in dire need of a Beta! Please? Whoever is interested can quickly contact me at my email: ------Anywho-hope you enjoy, and please review & rec!Ohh, and one more thing, buckle your seats cause you're in for one angsty ride!

One last thingIt is important that you review if this is to your liking because I've decided that I would erase any of my stories that aren't to any of you guy's liking. For example I'm probably going to erase my DD fictionMessage is posted top and bottom

Chapter ONE: Shuichi

Always, since the beginning of the time I've spent with Yuki, I've always done what he said. No...I didn't just do what he spoke, for me to obey him completely, there had to have been an inner meaning. A sense of real want, and when I felt that want and command in him at the same time, I dropped everything on the ground, abandoned those who needed me and obeyed him. If Yuki told me to 'Shut it.' I would if his voice meant it. If he told me bury myself, I would and have. If he told me to jump off a cliff, kill myself or die...I did just that.

Since the time I've spent with him, I was given a gift. The gift to be able to tell apart from his words what the lies were, and the truths. That ability allowed me to give him in complete confidence everything I had, my undying love, my body, my soul and mind.

Most of the time, when Yuki said something negative...those words, I knew, they weren't entirely meant to hurt me-they were more like cooes of love that's encased within those harsh words, left for me to find the more cryptic meaning.

Can a bird understand a dog?

And when I've found the significance in each cruel tones, my heart would bursts into joy knowing he loved me. Or so I would come to believe. However, if I am mistaken, that those daily words were said for pain, would I be able to take it? Would I be able to stand on my feet once more knowing I was just there to be hurt? And what he says...does he mean them?

Can a snake love a rat?

Does Eiri love me? Does he feel that I belong only to him not just in body, but the rest of me?

From the moment I laid eyes on him, in that dark and confusingly bliss moment, I was ready to give him all I had till the last strand of time passed, so long as he would come to love me, and did I achieve just that by following his every wish?

Can a heart beat without sound?

Yuki...if you love me, then why have you commanded almost all the terrible commands that exist in the world? Why have you told me everything except for the one thing I really want to hear from you? Why have you not said 'Don't Leave me'

Why have you not uttered the words 'I love you' to me?

My heart aches to acknowledge the fact that it's home is not assured where it should be, right next to your heart. It hurts to know that the ground right beside you is not guaranteed to be forever 'Shuichi Shindo's place. Oh I would make the bird understand the dog, I would make the snake love the rat-I would hearken my heart to beat without sound and all the more just so I could hear your words of love.

I'll do just that and more because I'm terribly lost inside, I am incapable of handling the knowledge that one day, you'll awaken from the hold of whatever gravity bonds you and I together, afraid that any minute of the day that I am with you, you would be able to mumble those dreaded words to me...that anytime, you would be able to speak without anxiety of what I hate most:

Your words? Leave. Get Out. I never want to see you again.

And when that brief statement is over, I will have to leave, and I pray to god to spare me the pain and take my soul to the depths of hell...

What did you think? Please Review

One last thingIt is important that you review if this is to your liking because I've decided that I would erase any of my stories that aren't to any of you guy's liking. For example I'm probably going to erase my DD fictionMessage is posted top and bottom


	2. And All Our Hearts Turn Cold

Please Review to avoid this fic from deletion

Chapter TWO ---And All Our Hearts Turn Cold

I couldn't look at him. Was I worth nothing to him? Was I so unimportant that he'd have a whore in his bed as soon as I left the door?

I felt it now, my widened eyes curving themselves to be narrowed as his while my pink eyebrows pointed down in frustration, anger, and sadness. I'd always known this day would come, that he would tire of me and find another...but so soon?

"Shu-" he attempted, but I was out the door and running to the driveway, hopping inside my white sports car and shifting it to reverse.

How could he do that to me? Did he hate me so much to do that in our house? In our bedroom and with another woman? She was pretty I'd give her that, but...but what about my heart Yuki? Didn't that mean as much as her breast? Wasn't it worth more than those gold flowing hair? Oh Yuki...you poor poor bastard, why'd you have to go and ruin me?

Flashback

That's right...he hasn't paid attention to me. For the past months that rode by, I would find occasional tabloids with his picture and another woman, sometimes it was another man and always they would change in every magazine's issue. I had calmed myself, insisting upon my hope that they were all composites, because that wouldn't have been the first.

When the newspapers had no more shame and posted more almost daily-like, I confronted Yuki and asked him about it, and him being my darling Yuki, he dismissed it with a wave of a hand and a quick mumble of the pictures being composites.

I sighed a relief for I would believe him, but a certain fear in me refused to vanish in the void of our love making. My love making to him, but never reciprocal.

And the day where my fears are finally confirmed...oh Yuki, why? Why would you do this to me?

Earlier today, I had just gotten back from my tour. Tohma and I had become almost like friends, and he had allowed me a break from my fans to run to my Yuki. Earlier today, I stopped by the bakery store and bought Yuki's favorite treat, strawberry cake, hailed a cab and hurried home...if faith would have allowed, I should have waited a moment longer before entering our house. The house Yuki and I have been together for three years...

When I entered the house, I was just in time to hear a scream of lustful delight. A woman's voice that was so enchanting, was screaming my Yuki's name.

"Ohhh, Yuki, more...MORE!"

And as I listened to the request, I unconsciously removed my shoes and walked ever so slowly, up the stairs and into the hallway where a skimpy red dress laid unwanted on the ground and a white piece of panty-hose partnering with it.

"AH! God, yes...there! I want it...More...deepeerr!!"

My hand shook slightly, already tears were forming on the edge of my eyes. I refuse to believe anything without seeing...I won't believe his betrayal...I won't...I won't I won't I won't--

And I have opened the door to my destruction.

My pink bangs hung loosely on my eyes, but even they cannot cover what was plain in sight. My lover, my handsome, golden haired lover being inside a woman with dark golden haird and quivering lips from pleasure my boyfriend was giving to her, the kind of pleasure that I would only see fit to be mine.

There obvious in my eyes was Eiri thrusting with all his might inside the woman, his lips intent on her large breasts. One of her hands dug deep on his shoulder while the other buried itself inside his golden forest...and I was entrance with the moment as my heart slowly chipped away at their moans.

I dropped the cake on the ground, and all spells broke to be replaced by hell.

The woman opened her eyes when there was no more thrusts pleasuring her, when Yuki stopepd completely in his mission and his attention moved away from her...and why? Because Yuki, my Yuki was staring at me.

"Shu-Shuichi?" his voice quivered, "It's not-" he stopped. Of course, IT IS what it looks like and he just watched me cry...

I grasped my chest tightly and choked through my tears, "It hurts..." I blinked as much as I can, my breathing becoming louder and louder, "It hurts. IT HURTS!" and then I turned and ran.

End of Flashback

I knew he wasn't expecting me, but even so, it gave him no right to outright get a fuck. As I screamed at how much I hurt, I wondered inside if he knew what I meant, did he know that the remaining things that the media had managed not to rip away from me was completely broken then? Did he know how much it hurts to have given him my love and to have it be crushed? I wanted to tell him horrible things...but that look on his face, they would never allow me to give him hell.

If he wanted me to leave him, all he had to do was tell me. If he wanted to dump me, there were less painful ways and more accepting.

It was partly my fault for I was suppose to go to my parents condo up in the Hakone Mountains for a visit, but instead I ditched on my way to check up on my lover to see what he was doing so early in the morning...and now that I know, now that I can't go to him anymore...I'm here on the slick, snow covered mountain road, twisting my car with the speed I should not be riding with.

My phone rang and without thinking, I answered it.

"Shuichi?" It was Eiri, "Listen, look come back, we can talk-"

"Don't you dare tell me what WE can do! There's nothing for us left, why don't you go back and fuck your whore silly--" I was screaming so loud I did not see it coming, a van twice as large as my sportscar turning a corner.

In panic, I swerved my car, but the other driver did the same, and as his van spun, it hit my tiny baby and flung it over the road rail.

I was screaming the whole way down, my vehicle tumbling and tossing me inside like a rag doll. There was no escape for what was to happen and I just braced myself as my white Benz and with me inside was drove off a cliff side. I yelled my fright and anger out as I saw the never-ending drop.

"Oh GOD!" I shouted.

Then, I hit bottom.

AN: Okay! Don't freak, this story is fifty-five percent probably a happy ending! So go read chapter Three!!!! (Story is not complete yet.)

What did you think? Please Review


	3. Can't Fret What You Never Knew

Chapter THREE: Can't Fret What You Never Knew

"Yuki." I coughed. I was on my back, my muscles moving in agony every time I tried to speak. I could hear his voice, crackling through the unstabilize connection of our phone.

"Shuichi? Shuichi!"

I coughed again and looked my side. It was truly faith that my cell phone landed right next to me, not far from my ears.

"Yukii..." I whined in confusion, "It's snowing...but it's red all over."

"Shuichi? Where are you!"

"I don't know. I fell off a mountain Yuki."

I could smell the gasoline burning my nostrils, the flames following not far behind.

When I tried to move my arms and legs, they would not comply, a sense of panic washed over me like cold water.

"Make it stop Yuki. It hurts all over, outside and inside." I sniffed, hot tears burning my cheeks, "I'm going to die...I'm going to die, Yuki make it stop."

"Shuichi, hold on!" why did he sound so panic? "Shuichi, I'm coming! HOLD ON!"

I tried smiling. I've made him panic too. I wanted to soothe him, "Yuki I-" then it was all over. I saw a bright flash and heard a loud-

BOOM.

And I woke up. Sweat pouring down on my me like rain, and a woman who I did not recognize was wrapping her arms around me.

"Shh..." she whispered, "It's just a dream Shu-chan. Just a frightening dream."

I blinked. I could not recognize her...oh, that's right, she's The woman that was staying with me here in U.S.

"R-right." I said, turning sarcastic, "The same fuckin' nightmare for the last year."

She blinked, then covered my lips with her fingers. She 'shh' me once more and then held up an injection needle, "Here. This'll help you." and I willingly gave her my arm.

"You're not drugging me are you?"

"Of course I am."

"Funny."

"I'm a doctor. You never know."

Somehow, when she turned her back to me and slept by me on my bed, I found it a bit unnerving that she never refused tha fact that she may be drugging me... This is crazy, I've been dreaming about the same man for the last year about this shit and now I'm paranoid about ...I don't even know anyone named Yuki.

I sighed, before I could think about the nightmare any further, his once clear face began to blur, and soon, I could not even remember his name or what I was fretting about.

What did you think? Please Review No, Shuichi is not with Elle-though it could be a possibility if the crowd wanted it too...but I prefer Eiri and Shuichi together-don't you?

Don't forget if you like this story please review to prevent deletion

Oh and if you like hot hot smut between Shu and Eiri-go to my story 'Welcome to My Romance' it's where the fun is

-Iname


	4. Elle's Part

Chapter FOUR: Elle's Part

I stripped and looked at myself at the hotel bathroom mirror. I was so tired...and it was all because of that nightmare. Again and again they keep on reappearing...and then Elli would give me medicine to cure myself. It's a cycle that's been going on for as long as I could remember.

Stepping into the hot showers, I cringed as I felt my skin recoil at the hot touch.

What was the guy's name?

That's another thing. I can't remember his name at all. Nor his face, or what the dream was all about. I just know for some odd reason, I always get hurt at the end of it.

Getting off the subject. Elle has stayed with me for a long long time. So long, I can't even remember the time when she started being with me. To be more precise, I woke up, found myself in a house with this woman and...well, that one day, she ushered me around for my schedule and all...but I didn't know who she was so I asked, and she just laughed it all, saying,

'Silly Shuichi. I think the medicine's getting in your nerves.'

And she sat me down, told me about my nightmares and her mission to cure it for me...and, she just never left--so, we became good friends and she went everywhere with me, always carrying that medicine just for me.

How do I know? Okay, once, during a concert, someone in the crowds screamed a name (I can't remember)and as soon as I heard the name or whatever, I froze 'they said I just started freaking out about an accident or something, then I blacked out. The next thing I know, Elle was kneeling next to me along with that injection that had a red patched on the plastic tube. She always made sure that patch was on so she could take my blood, mix it with her drug and then inject it back in me.

I'd feel woozy after that and the last thing I'd remember, and this happened each time she gave me that medicine, was someone's piercing eyes. Gold and full of self-hate.

I loved those eyes.

"Shuichi?" there was a knock on the door which almost made me fall on my butt, "Shuichi, are you alright?"

"Y-yeah. Hey, what's wrong? Do you need something?" I quickly washed the soap off of me in cased she needed the bathroom now.

"Oh. no dear, I just wanted to let you know, Hiro and Suguru are here."

I threw the door open, fully clothed and groomed I strode into the living room and tackled Hiro to the ground. I would have done the same for Fujisaki, but he moved away. So I missed.

"Woah. Hold it there Shu. Remember if you want me all to yourself, you gotta pay me first." Hiro teased.

Suguru smiled and sat down on the couch, "So...did you get your lyrics done?"

"Hah, of course I did!" I held up three pieces of paper, each their own song. I grinned as Hiro and Fujisaki looked through it, and I was worried when they glanced at each other as if something was wrong. I voiced my curiosity, "Something wrong with them?"

Hiro shrugged and pocketed the lyrics, "No. We just thought that you seem to be...how should I say this, it's very...horrific."

"Yeah. Especially the one you called 'The Man Doth Hunts Me' what is that a stalker song?" That comment could only be spoken by our keyboardist, Fujisaki.

"Hey, I thought it was kinda...romantic. It relates to my drea-nightmares. But isn't it sweet? It's like the guy keeps hunting the person's dreams!" I chirped, "Well, you don't that ACTUALLY happening cause...man, it scares the shit out of me to see the same guy over and over again in my head!"

Hiro's and Fujisaki's face fell from their high horses of a gleeful days, and before I could quickly insert in that I was fine and it was a joke, Hiro pulled me on the seat in between him and Suguru.

"Talk to us."

Suguru nodded, his opinion obvious, if not voiced.

"Well...my latest dreams were...happy. Like, I'd meet this guys in a hundred different ways and places...but then I'd wake up and find Elle looming over me with her creepy medicine. Then I'd go back to dreaming about him again, and dude, seriously, Hiro, Suguru, it's the same fuckin' person the whole entire time!"

"Can you...describe him?"

I felt the tension surging from my bandmates heighten. I wondered why they looked so, panicked and scared, shouldn't that be me?

I shook my head, "No, I don't know what he looks like."

"Then how do you know that it's the same person?"

"I just know."

Hiro smiled, that handsome devil. He patted my shoulders and stood up, "Maybe you have six sense or something and he's trying to hunt you down from the other life. Haha, okay, I get how serious this is, but hey, it's a dream and you don't know the guy...so, Elle will help you get through this. Okay?"

I stared at him blankly. At the guy that's been my best friend since I was a kid. A wide grin settled on my lips, nodding, I followed him out the door.

Elle's POV

Suguru was still in the hotel room when the other two went ahead. I guess he came to report to me about his friend's condition.

"Hello dear, aren't you running behind for your formal party?" I can't help but interlace my fingers together, "I'm so happy for your band. I can dance a 'can-can!"

"Err...that' okay." he blushed when he saw I was wearing nothing but the small towel around me. Giggling, I walked over to the dresser and sat myself, grooming while asking, "Is there anything wrong dear?"

"Tohma wants to thank you...for the time you've given to spending with Shindo-san. And for the drug, the stronger dose worked just as well on the novelist."

I nod. I didn't care what Tohma thought. I pitied myself for doing this, or more accurately, I pity Shu-chan and Eiri-kun.

"I heard what Shuichi said, about his dreams. Meeting the author over and over again, each dream different than the other, but with the same person. That would freak me out too..."

Suguru turned towards the living room where the exit was located, saying, "It'd be nice if you can give him a stronger dose, and for Eiri."

"Yes." I whispered, but he was long gone.

I couldn't help it. I really feel miserable doing this again and again to Shuichi and Eiri. They've met ten times already, and each time in a complete different place and everytime they met they have to fall in love, and when it gets too close for the two to hurt each other, we'd butt in, inject my special development into their system and then they have to start from scratch again.

This was getting very bad. Destiny just refuses to leave the two alone, and it doesn't matter that they hurt each other again and again as long as they find each other. Karma...is that what we call Shuichi's dream that seems to be unstoppable?

And Eiri...he's halfway across the world, he writes and writes those wonderful novels, oblivious to the knowledge that the things he writes have actually happened. Each and every tragedy ending with his characters.


	5. Meeting 1 from the Past

**AN: Hey ya! All I can say is please enjoy and review for me? Soon, I'm gonna have to start deleting some of my stories because my posts are getting out of hand…hahaha Read now-**

_Chapter FIVE: Meeting #1 from the Past- The Man Within The Night_

_Elle's POV_

Their first meeting was in a formal dinner. Almost like tonight's. Tohma did not inform me that they were coming as I did not inform him that I was going against his will and brought Shuichi with me to relax him from his nightly attacks. That night was just like tonight, the red carpeted halls were full of different rich-men's shoes.

I wanted Shuichi to have fun, and so I allowed him to go loose. I should not have done that, that was entirely my fault, and it was Tohma's fault also for he never told me that he and Eiri would be so close to Shuichi and I...

After that party, I had to give Shuichi his sedative, and to make it work, I coaxed him into reciting his 'dream to me in a piece of paper. By bringing the thought of Eiri to the front of his mind, my medicine worked better and knew what to target, and that was when I began to regret what I was doing to the poor boy, even if Tohma and Eiri requested of me to stay by my mission no matter the cost.

_Flashback_

He wrote on a piece of paper I offerred to him in great detail.

'After Elle-san told me I could play around with anyone, I went in the middle of the dance floor and began to dance. I was really getting into the rythm of the Japanese music they had currently put on...I think it was called 'Nittle Grasper? Anyways, I was dancing and I was thinkingof going back to dance with Elle-san when I saw something out in the exterior of the hall. Curious, I left my current dance partner and sneaked up from behind the man, and before I could scare him or anything, I saw the prettiest eyes ever.

They were glazed in a daze kinda, those dark golden cat-like eyes, really sharp too. It matched his perfect silk, blonde, hair...so I kept staring at him. I dunno why I did it, but I touched his arm and really, I was so caught up in the moment that I didn't realize he was looking back at me intensely.

He asked me, 'What?"

And I didn't know. I just shook and he kinda softened up after scanning me like a computer would. I told him that he really looked sad and that if Elle would be here, you'd jump on him like a cat on a toy and make 'em happy. When I saw a tiny, very tiny grin, I asked him if he'd dance with me cause I dunno...he was cute? Well, he was actually really really really hot and my body wasn't helping me.

Just looking at him turned me on.

So he led me into a really really slow dance out there on the banister. Just the two of us. Actually, later, it wasn't even dancing, we were just touching each other as our minds told us. He started running his hands up and down my waist and in circles on my back and then our dance came slower and slower and we just stopped entirely and he sat me on the balcony and...well...okay Elle, don't make fun, we made out.

I know, you're American and for some reason it freaks you guys out. But I was totally, totally in love with him. Well, that's what my body was telling me and my brain went dead and didn't object to his touch...if it meant more, I was the one who led his hands on my body. Asking him to touch me in places I felt hot most and then moving on.

He whispered to me that he wants me. As in he really really wants me-I could tell cause he could barely breath, say those words and can't get enough of my neck. So I told him I'd take him to a hotel and he said no, cause he already has one and he could only wait as long as I kept my legs together. He'll wait long enough to take away my virginity in a decent place.

Don't make fun Elle, but when we stepped into the hotel lobby, we had to stagger five feet apart so we won't attack each other. Finally in the elevator, there was no five feet, so he and I just started kissing and I managed to evade his hands, while I took off his shirt...and...well, we scared a few people. I thought we'd never get to his hotel, and when we did, he closed the door behind him and stared at me in a really really funny way.

Then he asked, 'Have I seen you before?'

And I laughed and told him I was gonna ask him the same thing. It was our first time meeting and we were already beyond normal relationship, I guess it scared both of us shitless.

Before I could ask him another important thing, he said, "You're...Shuichi Shindo. Right?" I swore this guy could read my mind and I asked how he knew and he said, it just sorta came to him...he said I was really really familiar and it felt like he's seen me somewhere but can't put a finger to it.

I told him my theory about abducting aliens and erasing our memory...and guess what? He laughed and said he could settle for that. Then he became really seductive and asked me if I still wanted him. I practically yelled at him a 'YES!' God, it was embarrassing, but he saw through it and just started nipping at me everywhere...and I mean everywhere! I felt like a deluxed wrapped chocolate and him licking and licking me until I melted.

Elle, I don't know why, but after you read this, can you tell me something? When he took me that night, my body started shaking so hard and I felt so happy and so scared and so addicted to his scent...I didn't know how I could be complete without him again. Elle, you're a doctor/psyco-whatever/ and one of my best friends right? Maybe you can tell me why I suddenly just called out the name 'Yuki' 'Yuki' 'Yuki'

I was surprised at how I knew him, but my body was so intensely full of that happy stuff he gave me and...I had to cling on to him that night. That's why I'm asking you Elle, don't give me anymore of the medicine tonight okay? Your medicine always makes me forget stuff, some side effect I guess, but I don't want to take a chance with this memory okay? I want to remember...Remember...Elle...I wanna remember...

_End of Flashback_

I read the letter over and over again. He was deep red when he started writing...and I felt such a bitch to know that I betrayed him. Needless to say, I didn't tell him when I slipped another dose of my stuff in him to ensure that he completely forgets.

The next morning, he woke up his groggy self and he began to cry. When I asked him about it, he said he had the most wonderful dream ever, and I played him by asking if it was his nightmare, and he said it was kinda related to that...only it was different. He said he met a man who made him fall head over heels about him...and that for the first time, he was really happy.

I had to excuse myself so I could cry my wretched heart out at how I stabbed him in the back and took away his happiness. But Shuichi, I had no choice. Tohma and Eiri Yuki asked me to stick to my task...because it was the best after that one time, after that accident. Oh I hope you never remember what happened to you, it would make everything we've worked so hard for a complete catastrophe.

After that morning, I gave Tohma some more of my sedatives and treated Eiri. Unlike Shuichi, Tohma told me that Eiri would not let him give those shit to his body. Eiri kinda knew something bad would happen to his brain, and I daresay, forgetting a man like Shuichi IS bad. Tohma gave it to him anyhow. I wondered how that bastard did it.

After that little meeting. Shuichi was never up for formal meetings, and when pried about it, he just said it didn't 'feel' right.

"Yes, Shuichi. It isn't right. What we're doing...it's never right. But how else can we keep you two from hurting each other?"

Shuichi POV.

I felt like a woman in tux. Damn, this parties are so...why do we have to wear this boring tuxedos? I prefer to wear what makes me shine (I don't know how I came by that system). There was an exterior veranda near the bar, and when I looked at it, my brain suddenly when numb and I felt like puking my guts out. It didn't feel right. Everytime, anytime there's a formal party, I never felt right. It's like a trigger of something in my brain and it gave me the biggest migraine anyone can get.

"Hiro, I'm gonna head home k?" I called over, and before my trigger crazy manager K could cock his gun's barrel on my head, I was out the door. Sorry guys, but my health comes first and any minute, I'll die in here.

Oh man, it was raining, New York streets are so slick and slippery when it rains. Dangerous too, but right now, I just need to stay away from that place. It's so frustrating to have a headache cause you feel like you're in the wrong place. So, I just let my tux sip the water. Not like I could feel it anyways.

Days like this, there's only one thing to do. Let my feet guide me subconsciously...hey and guess what? It led me right to the cemetary. It was kinda creepy, I know, but I found it fascinating that everytime I let my mind loose and my body control, I always always end up here. Am I ready to die? Is that what my body's telling me?

I looked around...there wasn't anyone really in the graveyard. Who would be except a weirdo like me? ...another weirdo that's who. I felt a sudden jolt warm my body up when I saw the figure ahead, standing by a tomb...

His eyes, so golden and dangerous...they moved slowly to gaze upon on my shovering form. There was that jolt again. For some reason, I started shaking reallyt bad, I don't know what was happening, but I was crying real hard and sobbing...and...and then everything was black.

Why did he make me feel like that?


	6. Dellusional State

Chapter SIX: Dellusional State

Eiri's POV

Seriously, I had no idea of what was going on. I just looked at the kid and he collapsed on his knees and clutched at his chest. He started ranting out on me, screaming the top of his lungs out,

"It hurts! IT HURTS!" He fell face first on the ground and he started sobbing uncontrollably, he curled those small fingers into a rock hard fist and started pounding on the wet ground beneath him, spalshing mu all over his cream colored face as he shouted, "How dare you make me feel like this! Why do are you making me feel like this!"

My breath hitched when I heared him. He mustn't mean me...I was a born natural bastard, but hey, I'd never commit anything to this puny kid. I just looked at him flatly and it scared the shit out of him. I do look like a murderer in the dark...but women go for that.

When he finally stopped, he sobbed once more, and his form never moved again. That's when I was scared as hell. I knew if I didn't take him to a place to recover he'd probably die...then I'd be blamed a murderer. Kitazawa was enough, so I don't need that title on me again--and you know what's really funny? I don't know how I got over Kitazawa. I just woke up one day and felt nothing for him anymore. Of course, when I woke up that day, I was also missing something...and I couldn't figure it out, but I knew it wasn't Yuki.

I was over him and I didn't know how it happened.

Now while I was thinking all of this stuff, I took it upon myself to heave the body up from the ground to my shoulder. Damn, he'll have to pay for my shirt. How am I going to explain to Tohma how I got mud all over his Christmas present to me? Ah well, serves that bastard right, I hate him having his nose up my business. I smiled hailing a cab, that hurt expression on Tohma's face when I ruin something...it's priceless. Maybe this kid doesn't have to pay me back.

Shu's POV

I felt a warm hands pushing my hair away from my face. I was sweating real hard cause I started dreaming of drowing right after I dreamt of the time when I saw this scary looking guy that was really handsome. Thank god it's not real...I think I screamed at him. Shoot, I didn't want to scare him-wait, he was just a dream, and there's only one cure...

"Elle..." I mumbled, turning to my side, "Will you give me some more medicine? I had another nightmare."

"Whatever kid. Let's get something straight. I'm not Elle."

My eyes flew open at the man's voice. Maybe he wasn't a dream! My eyes met his, a very disturbing contrast of wide eyes to narrow ones. He was sitting next to me on the bed with a book in hand, wearing large silver framed eyeglasses. Wow, he looked like a supermodel/superstar/super awesome. I couldn't help but blush a little.

"I sent for medicine, so stay put." he said, or was it growled?

"Oh...th-thanks. Hey-"

He interrupted me with a sigh. Placing his book down on the bedside, he stared at me and said, "I suggest you get help kid. What person in their right mind starts babbling out about hurting at a complete stranger? Tell me."

When I did not reply (from embarassment), he shook his head and started smoking. Make that he was UBBER SUPER REALLY COOL. But it'll kill him.

"Nevermind. As soon as you're better, get out. Otherwise Tohma'll think I converted to wanting my own team."

I whiffed my nose, "Y'know. You should quit. It'll kill you." I glanced at a whole pack of cigarettes on his desk and then back at him. I was so happy when he didn't stop however. It brought some kind of calming aura over me. Is this what second hand smoke is all about?

"Don't care."

"But people you love will be sad."

"Tough shit."

I gave up in the end and flopped myself back down on the bed. That was when something hit me. Quickly sitting up, I looked down at my naked self and screamed, "Oh my god! Where are my clothes!" I shot him an eyeful, but really, I had to soften and look cute for a gorgeous guy like him, "I mean...there's only one bed in this room, so I'll leave now okay? Elle and the others mmust be really worried." I made a grab for my tuxedo right next to me but he stopped me with a tight clench around my wrist.

"Look, brat, stop that right now. I won't fuck a kid like you, not to mention a boy for the matter, but as I was saying, I sent for your medicine and it'll be here in a little while. So shut the hell up before Tohma hears you and gets the wrong impression. Touche?"

I nodded. That was the funniest way to ever tell someone he waas worried. I laughed inside and buried myself deep inside the bedsheets, "Okay." I started falling asleep when that glorious voice drove me out of it.

"Give me a pillow moron. I can't sleep on just the fuckin' floor."

"Why?" I looked at him sympathetically, "We're both guys and you're not a molestor. You can sleep right there." I nudged on the blank space next to me. Truthfully, I hoped he wouldn't give me a hard time about it. I've always slept next to somebody, no matter who it was...it was something comforting. Even my doctor Elle sleeps next to me to help me in case of a nightmare attack.

"Har har. Give me a pillow, I don't want to catch whatever you have, dellusional boy."

There it is again. That sarcastic name calling! Hey, I can play into the role of the names he calls me with if that's how he wants the game.

I hugged all the pillows tighter to myself, "No." and I proceeded to bury myself and went to sleep. Before finally going off the edge of light and consciousness, I felt him pull the pillow away and to my relief...he settled right next to me with his back turned. I smiled, he wasn't such a bastard. Dummy.

Eiri's POV

So what kind of hotel has a heater that goes well over five hundred degree? Certainly the one I'm staying in. I made a mental note to never come back here. Why was it so damn hot? Was it just me? Taking in a deep breath, I opened my eyes, loathing my disturbed sleep...and of course, there's my answer.

This boy that I don't even know, this boy that had somehow sparked a sense of compassion in me was very very close to me. When people say that body heat is the best source of heat, fuck, they weren't kidding. This kid's temperature was well over the normal heat I'd ever want in my life and here he was, CUDDLING his damn naked self on me...and how did my shirt end up on the ground?

Oh, that's right, I was HOT, so I forgot about the kid next to me and just outright took off my shirt...and my pant's fly was down.

Great, not only was I naked, I was ALSO being held around the waist by one of his slender arms while the other was snaked around my back. Should I push him off? I could see his red red cheeks, was he cold and needed heat? My head spun a little 180 degree when I realized I was his source of heat.

Tough luck for him. I wouldn't even let my sister hug me, let alone a stranger.

About to push him off, his soft murmur reached my ear.

"Why would you hurt me like that Yuki?"

How did he know my name? I don't recall telling him.

"Didn't you love me?"

Maybe it's a different guy. We've got lots of Yuki running around in the world.

"Eiri..." Okay, so how many Eiri Yukis are there in the world? "Did I mean nothing to you?"

Yes, this kid is real delirious. I'm a famous author, so maybe he just saw my name. Right? Hm, maybe that freak Tatsuha dressed himself as me again and played this kid-wait, no, this is America. There's no way that freak of nature brother of mine could come here. He is underage, and if he got a passport, I doubt it would pass Tohma's attention.

He nuzzled my bare chest, "It's okay Eiri...I still...I love you."

I felt his hand clutch at my arm in a deathly grip, and that was...quite a possessive hold, but what shocked me most was the course of action my body took on without my usual permission. Perhaps it was that feeling that ran throughout my body when he said those last words, or maybe it was the that sense of relief that filled through me to hear those words as if they were real from a stranger.

I kissed his forehead and whispered, "Shuichi." my brow creased in reaction to the word. Why did I say that? I don't recall having known anyone with that name. Did this boy tell me earlier of his name?

"Look what you did," I said, allowing him to purr on my chest, "now I've caught your dellusional condition."

His mumbling stopped, and I felt relaxed to hear his steady breath on my heart. Dellusional. That's the only explanation for that feeling that made my heart wrench in a series of spasm.

Who are you?

Shuichi

I looked out the window that morning, New York was still sleepy...but I was wide awake. I was sure I felt so warm, so close to someone...and when I opened my eyes, he was gone. Had it been all a dream? If it was, why was this dream so much clearer that the others? Was it the same man that has hunted me for two years?

I let out a long breath.

I must have been a dream. There's no trace of him in the room...so yeah, maybe I booked myself a room last night after running off from the formal party. Which reminded...Oh shit.

In quick haste, I left the hotel and returned to Elle. As I had expected, there she was in the living room, eyes looking red and puffy from crying while Suguru was comforting her and Hiro was talking on the phone. When I entered the scene, I was tackled by a dozen pair of arms, including my trigger happy boss, K-san.

We laughed and laughed at the silliness of our reactions to all this, and when everyone was settled down...I couldn't help but feel like my dream last night was warmer than all their arms wrapped around me.

**AN: Well…it's obvious people won't be reviewing but I'm still asking- please review? Lol.**


	7. Version of that Morning

Chapter SEVEN: The Version of that Morning

Eiri's POV

I know that there's a barrier in my brain. Everytime I focus ny attention to it, this massive headache would attack me like an anti viral reaction. What was wrong with me? Ever since I met that kid two weeks ago, I keep hearing my name and call of pleas,

'Yuki help me' 'Yuki make it stop' 'Yuki love me' 'Yuki' 'Yuki' 'Yuki.'

Was there no end to his voice? It had gotten so bad that I collapsed during a book signing and my sister, Mika, and brother, Tatsuha, who was accompanying me, quickly ushered me in the backroom and distributed inside me two rounds of that stuff Tohma always had me take. Then I fell asleep, and that barrier in me let up for a second...

I caught a glimpse of myself playing a twisted role of worry and panic...

Eiri's Dream

What I saw...I saw myself running out of my car, pushing past a group of guards that were keeping the people behind the yellow line. I just pushed and pushed until I finally couldn't anymore...and I saw flames amidst white blankets of snow. I couldn't hear anything, I just saw, saw myself talking in the phone, saying something that I could not read from the lips...but I- I was crying and then the flames down the mountain suddenly burst like a pent up volcano...

I shouted a name...and the dream ended.

END

Flashback

I was awoken by Tatsuha, and that was when the barrier in me was restored.

"Bro, are you okay?" he asked, "You were crying."

I didn't yell at him like the usual. I just kept my mouth shut and wiped away a faint streak of water on my cheek. He said he wouldn't tell anyone and I told him I didn't care. Of course I really did because Tohma would never stop pestering me...but Tatsuha understood and he said he didn't care, but he'll never tell.

Then there was that expression on his face that I rarely ever saw. Not since mother died. He looked very worried, and it was genuine too. I don't know why he asked, but he said,

"What were you dreaming about aniki?" I supposed he asked because we were the closest in our family and he thought I wouldn't hesitate to tell him. Wrong. I did hesitate, but I told him otherwise.

"An accident." and I laid back down on the couch and closed my eyes.

Before I could fall asleep, he asked, "Can I give you your medication now? I have to take your blood, but I wanna ask 'cause I didn't want a repeat of last time. Dang, you really kicked my ass cause you thought I was some kind of psycho after famou Yuki's blood." he followed the statement with a loud laugh.

"Yeah," I complied and handed him my left arm, "Whatever." and I fell asleep instantly, not feeling that prick from the needle.

Tohma took me with him to the states so that I could visit Yuki's grave. My old mentor who was the love of my life. That's what I thought until I came upon his grave...and I felt no want for him. I was puzzled by that, and I stayed next to his tomb to sort myself out. Since when had I stopped loving my mentor? I pondered over him, of what memories that I had already pieced together since long I could remember and I was evaded at logic of how it came to be that I ached inside, but not for my Kitazawa. Not for me teacher.

I've stayed for a long period of time I didn't realize that the sky had already darkened and brought rain over me. I wasn't suprise that time had passed by so quickly, I've been doing a lot of that lately. Dazing into space, into that barrier in my mind and almost breaching it only to be pulled away at the last second...what the hell was wrong with me? Before I could answer, I saw him.

--------------------

That pink haired boy. I didn't know him, I've never seen him, never heard of him...but my eyes was so keen on staring at him with intent, my ears strained to hear his voice and my whole form sent a vibration of familiarity coursing through me, ere I could regain my sanity, I was already back to my hotel room wrapping him underneath my blankets and demanding medicine from the staff.

When I awoke that following morning, I nearly jumped when he and I were both naked under the covers. Now it wasn't really me to freak inside, but if you wake up next to a stranger whom you had NEVER intended to sleep with on the same bed, much less naked...now you see? I regained my cold demeanor, dressed and readied myself to leave.

Picking my only priced possession, my laptop, I couldn't help but notice that silky tan skin of his peeking over the covers of the white sheets. My eyes became hungry like the night before and my body reached him in two steps.

I moved the covers so that it would reveal to me the boy's skin...

My breath seemed to be taken away by the sight of him for the second time. He looked absolutely...delicious. Those brown nubs on his chest peeking out, his petite chest moving up and down in a calming manner...his lips partly opened and his brow slightly frowning...would he look like this if sexually pleasured?

I hadn't meant to, but there really was no choice. I had to touch him, I had to feel that small figure, run my hands over his chest, find his weakest spots and then...I want to fill him. As I have mentioned, there was no choice and I just felt myself bend over and take his lips. I surprised myself that it was soft and chaste-until I felt his tongue probe mine for harder friction, more forceful, more of me overtaking him. I obliged.

Kissing his lips and biting them, his hands crawled on my chest and unbuttoned my shirt. His nimbled fingers threaded around my erect nipples, then one of his legs wrapped from my waist to his back.

There was much lust in the air it would almost suffocate a monk (preferably my father). Our bodies heated and I wanted to take him then and there, it would have been easy too, just pull the covers and throw it to the ground, remove my clothes and fuck him. Fuck him raw...

Why the hell not? I thought. However, as my fingers reached for his erection- a massive attack of dizziness came over me, long enough that I pulled away in a hurry and broke off from whatever whichcraft he had so unknowingly netted over me in his sleep.

Whatever compelled me to do so, I kissed him on the forehead and left. I had no bitter feeling like I usually get when I was horny, but instead...it occurred to me that the emptiness I was feeling in the graveyard, for the past years...had been filled with a short lived happiness that only my body had recognized.

Since I left that early morning-a glass once half full was now fully empty.

**(SPACE-HERE)**

AN: All I have to say is 'Please review me? By the way, I think I'm gonna stop posting this kk? I'm terribly sorry, but I don't think anyone else read this except for me…and like three more people. XD Gomen gomen


	8. What Would Have Been

Chapter Eight: What Would Have Been-

Tohma's POV

Eiri-san, I apologize. There was nothing we could do. My choppers weren't fast enough, K-san wasn't fast enough, I wasn't there enough.

If I had all the speed known to man, to make you happy, I would have dived down and saved him. I would have jumped down the cliff, and if my legs were broken, I would have crawled to him to get him away from the fire. I would, I know I would have.

But we were not fast enough. Even you, as you struggled from my hold, from Mika's hold, from Tatsuha's arms, from K-san's grasp...you could not have stopped the sudden flames that decided to take him that day...if we had let you run, you would have been engulfed also.

That's why we held you back, because we rather have held you back and let him die than allow you to be taken...and all that, after our desperate cling on you, you still died somewhere inside.

It hurt me that we had preferred to save you over him, but you were family and you know what hurts me darling Eiri-san?

To see you lost in that confusion that followed in the aftermath.

To see that glazed look whenever we speak now, to read the occurrence in your past life written on your novels.

To know that your muse has always been, subconsciously, Shuichi-kun and your treachery.

**AN: This was a little pointless but it'll come hand later, that's what I thought… well I've already posted this chapter on another site, so I might as well put it here right? sigh I'm still waiting for my muse because the chapter after this is the last one I'll be posting….and please review? Oh- and try not to throw darts on my face (cough-Earnest-Kevin-cough) **

**thank you.**


	9. Second Meeting in GRAVITY

Chapter Nine: Second Meeting in GRAVITY

Tohma's POV

Overlooking Tokyo City, it feels like this is my kingdom. Maybe it is. Not a thing happens in this city, within the music business, that I, Tohma Seguchi, would let pass my attention. Not a thing.

However, being here like this, nearly at seven in the morning, I can't help but let the world pass by as I reminiscence about the past. Every day, I am obligated to watch out for my brother, ever since that event in his life happened...of course, he wasn't the only one who lost Shindo-san, our producer Sakano-san...well, he has been a little under the weather since we had to relocate Shuichi in America so that he and Eiri-san would stop meeting.

Yes, the tragedy does not end with only the accident and the decision made in the aftermath. It lies also in the result.

A year and a half ago, Eiri Uesugi, Eiri Yuki, met Shuichi for the second time...

Flashback

Witnesses have told me that one night, in a club not too far from where Eiri lived, there was a brawl that had started. Well...it wasn't serious, more like a catfight-anyways, as it turns out, two wonderful, 'hip' women were vying for Yuki's attention when a small form bumped into them in the crowd and spilled some beer on the women's qoute expensive clothing.

I can never understand what was my brother in laws deal...gravity I suppose, but he felt...er, well, attracted to the boy, AKA my lead singer, and the two girls started picking a fight with the helpless singer when Yuki just suddenly draped himself over him like a boa on a fashion designer.

"I'll take this one." was, as I was told, his exact words. Then he dragged my vocalist to his car. Someone heard him on the way out that they heard Yuki asking for 'payment' about saving the kid's 'skinny little ass' from the whores. Heh, typical Yuki.

The last of the witnesses said that the boy had commented rather bodly for a first time, saying, 'Let's go have some more privacy and I'll show you how the transaction go.' sigh I didn't even know Shindo knew such a word as 'transaction.

Then the whole club turned into a witness area, everyone saying how 'they were loud' that night. Though none suspected the two men to be any famous, they did say that both were beyond gorgeous when together, so no one made any complaints about the noise. If more, they actually loved it.

That's a vocalist and a romance novelist having S-E-X for ya.

Now, I only know this when I started suspecting something when Eiri-san started feeling lighter and lighter everyday. So I did some snooping, me and my dogs-I mean, men, and that's when we came upon the club which not only told me about Shuichi and Eiri's first encounterment, but the day after that and the day after the one after that. I knew I had to do something when Yuki, as everyone in the club employee giggled out to me, had only been coming to this one club for the past few days, always waiting for the same man to come to him...only to be just as loud if not louder than the night before.

I had asked Elle about it, and she apologized furiously about the mistake. Her apology came in a small injection tube with instructions emailed to me, a 'How to Make Him Forget' and I suppose that was quite easy. Her instructions.

I stopped by Eiri-san and asked him about the pink-haired rock star. Well, in the club, and I was given a short time of happiness as Eiri confided in me that he 'likes' the boy and plans on continuing 'to make him his.' Such crude words could only mean the dreaded, 'I love the boy and I'll show it to him through our love making.' Something along those lines.

The first step was to make him bring up Shuichi in the front of his mind. The next was injecting him the drug Elle gave me. I did that through the help of sleeping pills in his food...and then I took care of that part. I cleaned up his apartment of any evidence of his old lover and left. When I was back at mine and Mika's house, I told her what happened and she just sighed, took me in her arms and lulled me to sleep.

The only salvation from the act I did, was that Shindo-san won't have to remember anything also. Elle was taking care of her side of the business.

End

"Mr. President?" Ah, that was Sakano-san, my favorite underling, "Did you call for me?"

I nodded, "Yes. Mr. Sakano. I wanted to tell you," I gave him a smile, "Bad Luck is coming back here in Japan...so I'm giving you back your old position...if you are still willing." I could have sworn he cried my carpets wet.

He wailed as he bowed again and again, "Yes! Yes! Of course Sacho! I would be honored to work with them once more, I-" he stopped and became stiff, slyly asking in curiosity, "But...wouldn't it effect him somehow?"

I knew he would say that, "I think you've waited long enough Sakano-san. I've discussed such matters to Hiroshi, Fujisaki and K. At the first sign of his memories breaking through...we'll pull you out, demo..." I smiled at him again as his tears began to form in his glass, "I think Bad Luck's producer have been miserable long enough." and my smile was truly intended for happiness as I watched him bow to me again and again in thanks.

My phone rang, and quickly seeing the line only reserved to be Eiri-san's beeping rapidly, I picked up the phone handle and greeted him with deep enthusiasm, still fascinated by Sakano's bows.

"Hey Seguchi. Something came up, so I won't be seeing you today."

"Oh?" I sniffed.

He grunted, "I'm just telling you so that you don't send your possies looking for me. 'Gotta go." and before I utter a word, the ling was dead.

I hate it when anyone does that, but for Eiri-san, it's alright, I can deal with it.

-----EIRI'S SETTING------

I was compelled to turn my head when in the corner of my eyes I caught a glimpse of something bright. Pink, bright. I was not dumbfounded about it that I did not realize that the pedestrian had gone green. I was enticed by the owner, a unique color of hair matching his wide violet eyes. Like the color of the streaks on sunset. Now that I think of it, maybe I shouldn't have run the other way of the street where cars were zooming by faster than Inital D...but I had to get to him somehow and he was still walking, oblivious of my stares.

I wondered how it had no effect on him like it had on the other women.

I was to meet with Seguchi this early in the morning, but I supposed, running after some stranger would have been a hell lot more adventurous, so I cancelled Seguchi and decided to keep an eye on the punk.

He was walking rather fast, I wondered if he knew I was following him?

------SHUICHI'S POV------

Thrilled to be back in Japan, I was practically bursting through whatever held me together when my manager K said that he was too tired to look out for me and my bandmates (I know, the end of the world is nearing), so he was gonna get some rest. I was so excited, I begged Hiro and Fujisaki to leave me alone. They agreed as long as I abided by the rules that I do NOT get arrested for...uh, public disturbance. I did and they left me to my own devices.

Man, that morning, I was lead by one thing that always never let me down, I think Hiro called it GRAVITY. Heh, so I was lead everywhere, and I mean EVERYWHERE, I went window shopping, never caring if the outfits were too big or too small, for men or for women- ...well, I was a feminine size and the sales were incredible, I was rich enough since normally I work on the dollar currency 100-1. Too bad Elle was not here, she loved Japan as much as USA.

Anyways, I was just thinking of how Elle couldn't come to Japan with me cause she was finishing some project of hers in the states when suddenly, that great urge of shopping left me, and that gravity started pulling me sideways, around the corner, and out to the streets. I lost it for a little while, and so I just stood out there in the crowd. Still as those people in that American movie Jurassic Park. Well, I was about to turn and get myself some breakfast when it started again! I wondered if my GRAVITY have gone haywire and is letting me down, but I grabbed my bags, which felt a lot lighter, and started walking awayfrom the direction of the shops. I don't, I thought I felt something sting my neck, but in a funny way, it felt good-but I just returned my attention to the gravity that was pulling me so fast!

It told me to walk faster down an alley, and I did. It told me to turn a corner, and I did, which a very quiet neighborhood welcomed me. Then, heck, there was this hill! It was just...really really really like a hill that must have been created by the devil since it looked like a mountain, and there was no way I could climb that- and I was glad when that odd force told me to take a turn.

I turned and walked up a few stariways, but it was all worth it in the end. All that running wasn't such a waste in two ways.

One because there was this awesome view of the city. Tokyo tower stood like the empire state building, it's glory being highlighted by the shorter buildings around it. Wow, was it incredible. I couldn't even breathe...and when I finally let out a breath, I had to lean against the hand rail. I felt relief, joy, familiarity.

If Elle was here, I'd ask, why was grief among those emotions that wanted to surface?

A small wind came and nudged my head to the left where the stairway was, and I glanced at the second reason.

-----EIRI'S POV------

He just stared at me.

I knew I should give him hell for dropping his bags behind him, practically making it an bostacle coourse getting through the staircase, but...when I looked at him, when I met those eyes...I couldn't help but feel like I was the one who was guilty.

I couldn't move my eyes off of his, and soon, I found him smiling a little, but really, if it was going to look as if someone had died, I would rather not have seen.

I couldn't pinpoint it in mind, but it felt like this wasn't the first time I've seen that smile...and there was something about him that made it feel like I've met him before. Have I?

"I think...we've met in New York." he whispered.

I shook my head and held his bags that I had collected on my way up here.

He showed me a wide grin and it relaxed me some more, he asked, "Wanna grab a coffee with me?"

------SHUICHI'S POV--------

Yes...gravity's never failed me.

**oOoOoOoOoOoOoO----**

**AN: ****Much thanks to those who have reviewed, and I really hope that you'll review again and…I also hope my muse would come back. What was its name? Gah. I don't know. Alright, please review to me, and I'll try to get the next chapter inPlease review and Thank you! **


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